A student-made video about teen bullying that shows how anyone can help stop bullying. From Buckhorn Leadership.
Bullying is repeated acts over time that involves a real or perceived imbalance of power with the more powerful child or group attacking those who are less powerful. (U.S. Dept. of Justice, Fact Sheet #FS-200127) Bullying can be verbal harassment, physical assault, or other more subtle methods of coercion such as manipulation. Bullying can be defined in many different ways. Although the UK currently has no legal definition of bullying,[2] some US states have laws against it. Bullying is usually done to coerce others by fear or threat.[3] Bullying can be prevented when children are taught social skills to successfully interact with people. This will help them to be productive adults when interacting with bothersome people.[4]
Bullying in school and the workplace is also referred to as peer abuse.
In colloquial speech, bullying often describes a form of harassment perpetrated by an abuser who possesses more physical and/or social power and dominance than the victim. The victim of bullying is sometimes referred to as a target. The harassment can be verbal, physical and/or emotional. Sometimes bullies will pick on people bigger or smaller than their size. Bullies hurt people verbally and physically. There are many reasons for that. One of them is because the bullies themselves are or have been the victim of bullying[5][6][7] (e.g. a bullying child who is abused at home, or bullying adults who are abused by their colleagues).
Many programs have been started to prevent bullying at schools with promotional speakers. Bullying consists of three types - verbal, physical and emotional.
Norwegian researcher Dan Olweus defines bullying as when a person is "exposed, repeatedly and over time, to negative actions on the part of one or more other persons." He defines negative action as "when a person intentionally inflicts injury or discomfort upon another person, through physical contact, through words or in other ways."[8] See also a reference to the Olweus Bullying Prevention Program at Clemson University: http://www.clemson.edu/olweus/.
Bullying can occur in any setting where human beings interact with each other. This includes school, church, the workplace, home and neighborhoods. It is even a common push factor in migration. Bullying can exist between social groups, social classes and even between countries (see Jingoism).
In schools, bullying occurs in all areas. It can occur in nearly any part in or around the school building, though it more often occurs in PE, recess, hallways, bathrooms, on school buses and waiting for buses, classes that require group work and/or after school activities. Bullying in school sometimes consists of a group of students taking advantage of or isolating one student in particular and gaining the loyalty of bystanders who want to avoid becoming the next victim. These bullies taunt and tease their target before physically bullying the target. Targets of bullying in school are often pupils who are considered strange or different by their peers to begin with, making the situation harder for them to deal with.
Some children bully because they have been isolated, and they have a deep need for belonging, but they do not possess the social skills to effectively keep friends (see social rejection).[11] "When you're miserable, you need something more miserable than yourself." This may explain the negative actions toward others that bullies exhibit.[citation needed] However, there is some research suggesting that a significant proportion of "normal" school children may not evaluate school-based violence (student-on-student victimization) as negatively or as being unacceptable as much as adults generally do and may even derive enjoyment from it. They may thus not see a reason to prevent it if it brings them joy on some level.[20]
Bullying can also be perpetrated by teachers and the school system itself: There is an inherent power differential in the system that can easily predispose to subtle or covert abuse (relational aggression or passive aggression), humiliation, or exclusion — even while maintaining overt commitments to anti-bullying policies.[21][22][23]
School shootings are a bullying-related phenomenon that receive an enormous amount of media attention. An investigation undertaken by the United States Secret Service found that in over 2/3 of cases, attackers in school shooting incidents "felt persecuted, bullied, threatened, attacked, or injured by others prior to the incident" and discredits the idea that school shooters are "loners" who "just snap". Though observing that, "clearly, not every child who is bullied in school presents a risk for targeted violence in school", the investigation report states that, "a number of attackers had experienced bullying and harassment that was longstanding and severe. In those cases, the experience of bullying appeared to play a major role in motivating the attack at school". The report also observes "in a number of cases, attackers described experienced of being bullied in terms that approached torment". The report concluded that, "(t)hat bullying played a major role in a number of these school shootings should strongly support ongoing efforts to combat bullying in American schools".[24] See also [25]
Anti-bullying programs are designed to teach students cooperation, as well as training peer moderators in intervention and dispute resolution techniques, as a form of peer support.[citation needed]
American victims and their families have legal recourse, such as suing a school or teacher for failure to adequately supervise, racial or gender discrimination, or other civil rights violations. Special education students who are victimized may sue a school or school board under the ADA or Section 504. In addition, the victims of some school shootings have sued both the shooters' families and the schools.[26]
Hey, I’m Adam
Visit us on Facebook! or email me
“We’ve created a place on the internet for you to ask the questions you’ve always wanted to ask. So take a look around, then let us know what you think about it. You might make a really good point about something, then see what others think about it as well. It’s getting involved, and sharing ideas about all kinds of subjects.”
Hi I'm Adam. I joined this web site because I really appreciate what In Search of Me Cafe is trying to do. When I was faced with tough choices I never really had a lot of people to talk to. Often I was embarrassed asking for advice on awkward stuff from my friends and family. I think if there had been an In Search of Me Cafe when I was making tough decisions it would have really helped me.
Any way enough about why I like this site so much. I have always liked to party and I love chillin’ with my friends. Obviously partying can lead to some tough life choices; I had my first alcoholic drink when I was 13. That may seem pretty young but I grew up in Europe where the legal age was 16. Yes I know... that’s still underage.
It’s true, I was underage. It’s easy to drink when your friends drink. Needless to say, from the first drink till now, I have experienced a lot. Partying was probably the best tool in learning about me which may seem strange but I really learned a lot about how I treat my friends and relationships, how I trust …you name it. Good times and bad I have gained valuable life lessons. If you ever need to talk about stuff or you have a question you’re burning to ask or if you just wanna share stories. Go ahead and holler. I won’t judge and it’s pretty hard to faze me. I’ll give you my honest opinion and you never know, you may have an experience that’ll teach me some things too.
Hey, I’m Taran
“Every teen has to face the same type of problems and try to figure out who they are. This is a place where you can do that.”
Hey, I’m Maddie
“Up until this year I was picked on a lot and it really brings down your self esteem. Kids don't think about how they're really affecting other people with their words and eventually the other kids' self esteem goes down and down and they start to believe what the bullies are saying. After a while you just start to give up and think, ‘Oh, what's the point. I suck anyway’ and your grades and everything else goes down.”
Hey, I’m Chelsi.
Visit me us Facebook! or email me
Each morning I see in my mind what I’m working hard to obtain. I know I can achieve anything I set my mind on by putting in the time & effort needed. I believe one can learn from every experience. I like to ‘take the best and leave the rest’!“
As a rule I don’t like talking about myself. However, I want you to know a little about me, the “teen” likely not much different than you and thinking a lot of the same things and having similar questions etc.
I try to treat everyone with respect and kindness, just as I would hope to be treated! Hopefully I can help answer questions you may have or concerns you don’t want to discuss with an adult… you know teen-to-teen!
Here’s a bit of what I like to do…. I love hanging with my friends at the movies or the mall, and staying in with my family. I love music, sometimes when I’m upset or “heartbroken” I go in my room and just listen to music. It just lets me cool off and just not have to think.
Although I’m only 13 on paper, I’m told I’m much wiser than my years. If there is a problem, I am the first person anyone calls. I may be nice but, if someone hurts anyone I know (whether I like ya or not) they are in trouble… haha. They call me “the haha queen” because I can make any situation funny.
I hope after hearing this little bit “about me” you want to ask me your questions, and if you just want to chat, I’d love to. I like meeting new people.
-Chelsi♥ Archambeau
“And it's now, now or never when we're chasing our dreams.” -Mercy Mercedes
“I'd like to make myself believe that planet Earth turns slowly.” -Owl City
“Do you know what's worth fighting for? When it's not worth dying for?” –Green Day
What my friends have to say About me - Chelsi♥ ……
“I like talking to you because you can always make me feel good about myself and make me happy no matter what. I like you as a person because you really are a great friend and I thank you for being there for me, and you’re just fun to be with.” -Jessie
“It’s hard.. To put into words.. The uncanny ability you have to put a smile on my face and that’s just online, from reading the nearly poetic replies. Where as over the phones it’s near impossible to explain the warmth that washes over me when I hear your voice. For some reason when I heard you for the first time. Chelsi you inspired my first poem I wrote … -Sean
Hey, I’m Brittany
“When people go to parties just to hang out, other people come and bring drinks or cigarettes, and try to get you to do it. They keep trying and trying to get you to drink or smoke, and you might be tempted do it because you want to be known as a cool person.”
Hey, I’m Trent
“I have cousins my same age and younger who are Haitian and Filipino, which allows me to connect with other cultures. Even with different styles and different issues, these other teenagers still have some of the same dramas we have here in America, such as peer pressure.” Hey, I’m Trent
Hey, I’m Forrest
“You can post video blogs on this site -- voice your opinions about topics here as well as responses to what others are saying in their blogs. So it kinda builds upon itself.”
Hey, I’m Connor
Hi, I’m Connor Cottle. I’m 17 and a junior at Fernandina Beach High School in northeast Florida. As an only child, my friends are really important to me, so I’m either hanging out with them or texting them when we’re apart.
I spend my free time on the tennis court, the golf course, and at the beach. I volunteer frequently around my community and enjoy every minute of it.
I am also the Lead Youth Advisor of the In Search of Me Café program and I’m involved because I like how connecting teens all over the world can help them help themselves.
I’m always around if you need any advice or if you just want to hang out.