By Denise Linn I was on a flight into San Francisco and I surreptitiously noticed the young man sitting next to me in the middle seat. He radiated a calm centeredness. He didn’t seem to be squirming in the struggle for “personal boundaries” that so often accompanies those who are stuffed into tight middle seats. As I’m always intrigued to find out what beliefs are held by those who seem at peace, amidst the chaos of everyday life, I engaged him in conversation. He explained that he was a Marine and had been stationed four different times in Iraq. He said his life was often in peril and there were many times when buddies, on either side of him, had been killed or seriously wounded. I couldn’t understand how someone—who had been in that much constant danger and who had seen so many violent deaths and carried shrapnel in his arms—could be so at peace. When I asked him what sustained his spirit, he pulled out a dog-eared, well-worn book. He said, “As a warrior, I know that death is always a possibility. I have found my peace through studying the way of ancient samurais.” The book he held in his hand was called, Bushido: The Way of the Samurai. He said, “In a way, this is my manual for life. I read it over and over.” He explained that the concepts in the book, which was written in eighteenth century Japan by a respected samurai warrior, were very difficult for the Western mind to comprehend. However, there were aspects of the code that really appealed to him, such as being in absolute service for the well-being of others and a willingness to die at any moment. He said, “In Iraq I woke up every morning accepting my death. I know that this sounds strange, but it gave me a kind of peace. I wasn’t afraid of dying in battle, because I had already accepted my death. This allowed a kind of peace to fill me and maybe it also helped keep me safe because on the battlefield I wasn’t always reacting out of fear.” I told him that I was of Cherokee heritage, and Native American warriors had a similar code. My ancestors would wake up in the morning and say, “It’s a good day to die.” This didn’t mean that they wanted to die, but it meant that in every moment there was a feeling of completion and a satisfaction. In a way, this is totally being in the present moment. It is a powerful stand to take in life. Accepting. Open. Present. Aware. As we were leaving the plane, he put something in my hands. I looked down and saw his tattered book. He said, “I’m grateful for our conversation and I want to give you my book as a gift.” I proclaimed that I couldn’t take his beloved copy. But he insisted saying, “I really want you to have this.” As I saw him turn the corner in the airport, my heart was so open. Because of this chance encounter I started thinking about the power of releasing the past, being in the present with acceptance of “what is” even if it means facing death, and what it means to be a “hero.” (For me this young man was a kind of hero. Putting politics aside, he was willing to put his life on the line to be of service to others.) I have written about this before but it’s worth repeating. I think that we all want to be heroes. (I know that I do.) I believe we all have an extraordinary, courageous being inside of us. It’s just a matter of letting her/him out. So I started to think about what code of honor I would need to accept for myself if I were to start becoming even more of “a hero.” (You might find that you have a different creed for yourself, but this is what I came up with for myself.) To me, being a hero means:
Most of all being a hero means accepting yourself with a depth of kindness even when you act less-than-noble. All bad behavior comes from fear or ignorance and when you judge anyone (including yourself) for acting badly or imperfectly, you lose the ability to influence that being. When you accept your imperfections—and still are willing to brush yourself off and start again—you can make changes… for you are on a heroic journey of the heart. To me this is the best kind of hero. The kind of hero I strive to be. For me one of the most powerful ways to step into being the hero is to live as this Marine did… to accept my death (for this way I can truly live life to its fullest), release my past and be willing to live in the present moment.
http://www.healyourlife.com/the-best-hero-there-is
Hey, I’m Adam
Visit us on Facebook! or email me
“We’ve created a place on the internet for you to ask the questions you’ve always wanted to ask. So take a look around, then let us know what you think about it. You might make a really good point about something, then see what others think about it as well. It’s getting involved, and sharing ideas about all kinds of subjects.”
Hi I'm Adam. I joined this web site because I really appreciate what In Search of Me Cafe is trying to do. When I was faced with tough choices I never really had a lot of people to talk to. Often I was embarrassed asking for advice on awkward stuff from my friends and family. I think if there had been an In Search of Me Cafe when I was making tough decisions it would have really helped me.
Any way enough about why I like this site so much. I have always liked to party and I love chillin’ with my friends. Obviously partying can lead to some tough life choices; I had my first alcoholic drink when I was 13. That may seem pretty young but I grew up in Europe where the legal age was 16. Yes I know... that’s still underage.
It’s true, I was underage. It’s easy to drink when your friends drink. Needless to say, from the first drink till now, I have experienced a lot. Partying was probably the best tool in learning about me which may seem strange but I really learned a lot about how I treat my friends and relationships, how I trust …you name it. Good times and bad I have gained valuable life lessons. If you ever need to talk about stuff or you have a question you’re burning to ask or if you just wanna share stories. Go ahead and holler. I won’t judge and it’s pretty hard to faze me. I’ll give you my honest opinion and you never know, you may have an experience that’ll teach me some things too.
Hey, I’m Taran
“Every teen has to face the same type of problems and try to figure out who they are. This is a place where you can do that.”
Hey, I’m Maddie
“Up until this year I was picked on a lot and it really brings down your self esteem. Kids don't think about how they're really affecting other people with their words and eventually the other kids' self esteem goes down and down and they start to believe what the bullies are saying. After a while you just start to give up and think, ‘Oh, what's the point. I suck anyway’ and your grades and everything else goes down.”
Hey, I’m Chelsi.
Visit me us Facebook! or email me
Each morning I see in my mind what I’m working hard to obtain. I know I can achieve anything I set my mind on by putting in the time & effort needed. I believe one can learn from every experience. I like to ‘take the best and leave the rest’!“
As a rule I don’t like talking about myself. However, I want you to know a little about me, the “teen” likely not much different than you and thinking a lot of the same things and having similar questions etc.
I try to treat everyone with respect and kindness, just as I would hope to be treated! Hopefully I can help answer questions you may have or concerns you don’t want to discuss with an adult… you know teen-to-teen!
Here’s a bit of what I like to do…. I love hanging with my friends at the movies or the mall, and staying in with my family. I love music, sometimes when I’m upset or “heartbroken” I go in my room and just listen to music. It just lets me cool off and just not have to think.
Although I’m only 13 on paper, I’m told I’m much wiser than my years. If there is a problem, I am the first person anyone calls. I may be nice but, if someone hurts anyone I know (whether I like ya or not) they are in trouble… haha. They call me “the haha queen” because I can make any situation funny.
I hope after hearing this little bit “about me” you want to ask me your questions, and if you just want to chat, I’d love to. I like meeting new people.
-Chelsi♥ Archambeau
“And it's now, now or never when we're chasing our dreams.” -Mercy Mercedes
“I'd like to make myself believe that planet Earth turns slowly.” -Owl City
“Do you know what's worth fighting for? When it's not worth dying for?” –Green Day
What my friends have to say About me - Chelsi♥ ……
“I like talking to you because you can always make me feel good about myself and make me happy no matter what. I like you as a person because you really are a great friend and I thank you for being there for me, and you’re just fun to be with.” -Jessie
“It’s hard.. To put into words.. The uncanny ability you have to put a smile on my face and that’s just online, from reading the nearly poetic replies. Where as over the phones it’s near impossible to explain the warmth that washes over me when I hear your voice. For some reason when I heard you for the first time. Chelsi you inspired my first poem I wrote … -Sean
Hey, I’m Brittany
“When people go to parties just to hang out, other people come and bring drinks or cigarettes, and try to get you to do it. They keep trying and trying to get you to drink or smoke, and you might be tempted do it because you want to be known as a cool person.”
Hey, I’m Trent
“I have cousins my same age and younger who are Haitian and Filipino, which allows me to connect with other cultures. Even with different styles and different issues, these other teenagers still have some of the same dramas we have here in America, such as peer pressure.” Hey, I’m Trent
Hey, I’m Forrest
“You can post video blogs on this site -- voice your opinions about topics here as well as responses to what others are saying in their blogs. So it kinda builds upon itself.”
Hey, I’m Connor
Hi, I’m Connor Cottle. I’m 17 and a junior at Fernandina Beach High School in northeast Florida. As an only child, my friends are really important to me, so I’m either hanging out with them or texting them when we’re apart.
I spend my free time on the tennis court, the golf course, and at the beach. I volunteer frequently around my community and enjoy every minute of it.
I am also the Lead Youth Advisor of the In Search of Me Café program and I’m involved because I like how connecting teens all over the world can help them help themselves.
I’m always around if you need any advice or if you just want to hang out.